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Real Life Debugged » Microsoft

Tag-Archive for ◊ Microsoft ◊

Simple task - a job application requires the abstract of my PhD dissertation.  So I find the file, double click, and … ERROR.

Huh?

(Yes, I hear you cry!  I knew where the files were!)

You see, about 5 years ago I spent a couple days pulling stuff off boxes of floppies before the data puddled into magnetic goo.  Surrounded by mostly 3 1/2’s and many 5 1/4’s (and several disk backup tapes), I found my dissertation and with mixed memories (yes, the terror does fade with time), I tried to open the files.

Back then, Microsoft presented me with a different, although more frightening message when I attempted to open the files.  Something about not being able to read the old Word file format at all (Yikes!).

Had the ghost returned?

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By accident I surfed backwards in time this morning from 2009 to 1987. Omaba’s Federal CTO appointment crashed into a 25-year Technology Timeline. Who knew you could use “PERL”, “God”, “Powerpoint”, “Boiled” and “Duct Tape” in the same article.

Four mouse clicks and 10 minutes … the first PC. Start of the World Wide Web. Flash Drives. USB.  All from a press release about some dude from Virginia who may translate previous work in technology-related policy and development to bring the Federal government out of the dark ages.  Hmmm.

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What if everything in the world was made by Microsoft?

Sure, we’ve all seen the funky error messages, both real and fake. Yeah, Smart-House 2.0 Crashed my Kitchen was amusing, but the next extrapolation can be downright scary.

“Can of Peas - Professional” or “Can of Peas - Home Edition”?  Cracked.com ran a contest.  Enjoy them all, and wait for the last one to finish.


Really, Your College Degrees ARE Worth Dirt!
Monday, April 20th, 2009 | Author: lisaksimone

Sometimes advertisements send confounding messages. FAILBlog rocks with examples. Some are amazingly obvious and others send subtle messages. The other day, an ad informed me that my advanced degrees are worth little more than rodent infested dirt and piles of rocks.

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I wrote before about my computer wasting CPU cycles by phoning home to HP.

I also wrote about my cat deleting important files and emailing government agencies in my absence. Josie-the-Editor’s subterfuge continued in her quest for increased thermo intake courtesy of my oh-so-toasty keyboard. But yet again I forgot to “retire” my computer for the evening, granting her leave to further exploit my foolishness.

I awoke last week to find my computer at a near complete standstill. Oooooh no. But Type A that I am, I scrambled for print-screens, suspecting a repeat performance of HP’s Calls to the Mothership. But the system was so clogged it took me 15 minutes of patiently moving the mouse 2 inches, waiting 20 seconds to see where it landed, readjusting, etc., until I was just over the button to frantically SAVE!

The little voice in the back of my head nagged, JUST REBOOT AND CUT THIS CRAP OUT!

I refused.

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I wrote most of my book on a little Dell Inspiron 700m, carrying it in my backpack all over creation. It’s a lightweight little thing with a great screen and 5 hours of run time on the extended battery. Delayed flights, no problem. Writing on the patio, no problem.

Sweet.

But sometimes when I’m pursuing a life outside the office, it spins into overdrive, cranking the disk and fan up into a frenzy. And when I return, the CPU Usage is pegged at 100%.

What the heck is it doing, I wonder? Is it more productive than *I* am? Well, could be when I’m surfing icanhascheezburger, but when I look away it may be stuck on the home shopping channel.

Does your computer misbehave behind your back? Today I decided see where my computer wanders, using a little deduction and some pretty simple tools.

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Embedded Humor: Smart-House 2.0 Crashed My Kitchen
Sunday, December 14th, 2008 | Author: lisaksimone

This is a hilarious set of diaries entries for what can Go Wrong when you network your house. While we laugh now, years into the future when you need to reboot your kitchen, we’ll look back at our innocence and wonder why the heck we didn’t pull an intervention before this could be allowed to happen. (Sadly, or happily, we’ll get here by default.)

Nov 28: Moved in to my new digitally maxed-out Hermosa Beach house at last. Finally, we live in the smartest house in the neighborhood. Everything’s networked. The cable TV is connected to our phone, which is connected to my personal computer, which is connected to the power lines, all the appliances and the security system. Everything runs off a universal remote with the friendliest interface I’ve ever used. Programming is a snap. I’m like, totally wired.

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